


On my way

by thamyd97



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: AU, Ava is a gay mess and a ghost, Avatrice, Butterfly Effect, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Lilith is the warrior nun, OCS family, Slow Burn, Warrior Nun AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28521069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thamyd97/pseuds/thamyd97
Summary: One minute is enough to change a lot of things. A single decision can mean life or death. To Lilith, it was the life she asked for. To Ava, the death she dreamed about. Sometimes, no matter which way things go, they always end up in the same place; some things are just inevitable. Love is one of them, as is war.A 'what if' story where Lilith is the new halo bearer, so Ava is still dead (well, kind of) and has a crush on Beatrice.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 28
Kudos: 88





	1. Beginning

There are some theories about the course of life. Some believe in a path set in stone, that can’t be changed, in destiny, others in the fortuity or that each person is responsible for making their way from their own free will. Maybe one of them is right, maybe no one is, or all of these beliefs carries some truth.

In this story, specifically, no matter which way things went, in the end all of them would converge to the same end.

The fatidic night Shannon died at the morgue, so many shards of divinium piercing her flesh and reaching her organs, she had been resolute when the words “ _take the halo out, protect it”_ went out of her mouth one minute before she would say it originally. Even with Mary’s disagreement, Beatrice was at her side in an instant saying her goodbye and silently praying for her sister, and soon she was out.

One more minute and one more person out there helping to contain the mercenaries was enough to change everything; or, at least, a very important part.

Some things stayed the same. Shannon advised Mary not to trust anyone and there was a dead girl in another room. But when the halo was outside the Warrior Nun’s body, the woman holding it asked who was the next in line and Mary said it was Lilith, nothing happened beyond the nun’s shaking legs making their way, descending the short stairway step by step cautiously as if the holy relic could explode if she wasn’t careful enough.

That was it. She would finally fulfill her duty to the church, to her family, her whole lineage. Things would certainly get better after this. Right?

A sense of fear and relief drowned her and made her breath shallow. Lilith knew in her core it was the right thing, but why was she feeling so out of place?

 _This is not the time to hesitate_ , she scolded herself, _this is what you always wanted and now you have it._

And then she was finally in front of the nun holding the halo, it’s ethereal golden glow lighting her face as she watched it closely, eyes bright and alert to the piece of miracle in front of her. Meanwhile, the priest occupied himself with setting a new stretcher, so she could lay down for what’s to come.

“Lay down, sister.” The other nun said, passing the metal that held the halo to the priest as she guided Lilith. “You might fall and hurt yourself if you don’t hold onto something.”

She helped the young nun open her habit with a hurry, the sounds of battle louder than it was before.

In the moment she laid on her stomach, Lilith realized how hard her hands where trembling and everything inside her seemed to be frozen. She could sense how tense her body was and took a deep breath so she could maintain her calm facade.

Lilith braced herself for the pain that was surely to come and focused on what was in front of her, the image of a tear stained Mary holding Shannon’s pale body carefully, her aching and love obvious to anyone who even spared her a glance.

And then the pain reached her. It was nothing like she thought it would be, but a billion times worse. It was as if she could feel the halo burning its way through each layer of skin and nerves and muscle, spreading to her limbs and soon her whole body was into flames, igniting with an invisible fire that only existed inside of her.

Lilith urged herself not to scream, she truly did with all the strength she still had. But soon her mind couldn’t making sense of what was around her, of reality, and she no longer had control over herself, a painful cry escaping her lips along with the tears streaming down her face. Nothing in her seemed frozen anymore, everything melting and mingled in a pool of nothing but pain.

And as quickly as it came, the pain started to retreat, leaving a tingling and burning sensation where the halo now habitated her body, between her shoulder blades. All of her was shaking, she was panting hard and her vision was a blending of light and dark spots.

That’s when she heard the loud explosion and the sound of concrete hitting the ground. She could recognize Mary pulling her shotguns, people screaming something, gunshots, and all of a sudden the pain was back, like the first time but someway worse, as if the angel’s holy relic were fighting its way out. It was definitely a lot more terrible.

At the same time, in a room just a few feets away, Ava opened her eyes and it was _odd_. At least this is the best word she could find to describe her current situation. Looking around, it definitely not her room at St. Michaels. Things got even _odder_ when she tried to move her neck so she could take a better look at the place and instinctively supported her upper body with her elbows. It was so startling, Ava just panicked and then she was on the ground.

She stayed on the floor, body rigid and looking at the ceiling made of stones, trying to get a hold of _what the actual fuck_ was happening.

 _Where I am?_ , she thought with wide eyes. _Maybe those evil nuns finally sent me away in my sleep, so they wouldn’t need to hear me talking non-stop… Maybe I’m in an asylum now, but it doesn’t explain how I moved my arms. It must be a one-time thing, and still completely paralyzed, or I really had gone all nuts, finally. Frances always said it would happen one day. But why am I hearing gunshots?_

The sounds were loud, but somehow far from where she was. Maybe she was hearing things too.

_Strange… That’s where I was, wasn’t it? How the fuck I fell?_

Cautiously, Ava twitched her fingers, but could feel nothing. Not the ground or her own fingertips touching into each other.

Well, seems like everything is in place here.

She sighed. Well, at least she thought she sighed.

Looking down her body, she tried again to move something, and suddenly her right hand was hovering above her eyes. With wonder she wiggled her finger and nothing made sense anymore. Her thoughts were disconnected, every idea coming and going like a flash.

She had to get the hell out of that place.

Pushing herself up, Ava found out it was not a bit hard to be in sitting position nor stand up. She was walking. She was _walking_! Suck that, Sister Frances!

Without even thinking, she walked out of the room, marveling at the hands that would do what she pleased: up, down, sides, a full circle in front of her, middle finger… And with such ease.

That’s when the shooting sounds caught her attention again, much more louder this time. Ava looked up to find herself in another room that looked like it came straight out of a war movie, as if something exploded there.

But no one was there, except a woman laying in her stomach. Her screaming was loud and so painful that Ava could almost feel it. A light, some _goldish_ glow, was coming out of her back.

Ava never thought of herself as an altruist person. And now, when she got her senses and movements back not even five minutes ago, she wouldn’t risk losing it. She wanted to live, no matter how crazy it was. But just like a moth attracted to a flame, Ava found herself walking to the woman, staring at her, searching her face and, finally touching her back, right where the glow came from.

It was like receiving an electric current that made her really feel her body for the first time in a long time. Then, the light dimmed and dimmed until it stopped.

The woman seemed to lose her strength and lay there completely limp, her arms hanging off the stretcher. She slowly opened her dark and tired eyes and looked directly to Ava.

“Who...” her voice was hoarse “Who are you?”

Before Ava could answer, another woman came in, holding one shotgun in each hand.

“Lilith, are you okay?” she asked, practically running towards the woman who now Ava knew was Lilith.

“I… I think so.” Lilith answered, sitting her shaking body with the other woman’s help. She looked at Ava with her still tired but suspicious eyes. “But who is this one? I guess she is friendly since you aren’t shooting at her.”

The other woman looked at her funny, as if she was the most awkward thing she saw in her entire life.

“Lilith, are you sure you’re ‘kay?”

“Yes, Mary, I am. Why?” she seemed impaciente.

“There's no one else here but us.”

One minute is enough to change a lot of things. A single decision can mean life or death. To Lilith, it was the life she asked for. To Ava, the death she dreamed about. The ways that lead to one only end, because some things are just inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for reading, and i hope you enjoyed this first chapter! Comment your thoughts about it. It may sounds like a crazy plot, but is something i really wanted to try, soo don't holt back any critics or advices.
> 
> I apologize for any grammar errors and i'll try to update as soon as possible. You can find me on twitter as @thamynion, or you can search for "thamy, the halo bearer" with the cinnamon roll (aka Camila) icon.
> 
> Lots of love to all of you!


	2. Awake

Ava was in a strange bedroom. She had been there for a couple of hours and could already see the sun beginning to rise from the window, the curtains wide open, spilling light into the room. She felt lost, scared, and alone. She couldn’t tell what was worse: not knowing  _ what the hell _ was really going on, facing the ideas that infected her mind and wouldn’t leave her, or the suffocating silence.

No one could see her. Not the other woman (Mary, she remembered) nor the others who appeared right after her, or the man who was dressed as a priest. Ava wanted to disappear from that place (wherever it was) the moment they entered through the blasted doorway. Every single person, even the most sweet-looking of them, appeared deadly and ready to kill.  The appearance of their clothes - torn, bloody, and ragged - led Ava to believe they were caught in some kind of dangerous skirmish. A danger she wanted no part in.

Around her, the room was a battlefield. Two men were lying on the floor, blood pooling beneath them, and Ava knew they were dead.  They were dead, as well as a woman wearing a nun's habit on the other side of the room. Another woman lay eerily still on a stretcher, dressed in leather and chainmail with spots of something bright blue, almost glowing, all over her torso. 

Ava realized soon enough that running away might not be necessary. They all moved around and talked as if she didn’t exist. And she tried to reach them. Oh, she tried.

Ava spoke, screamed, shouted, even reached out to touch them—but no one heard her. Her voice echoed hollowly off the walls, her hands seemed to have no affect on them as well, and between it all she realized something:  _ she  _ couldn’t feel anything either. It was as if there was something covering her hands (and her entire body) like gloves, allowing the sensation to exist but only faintly. 

She may have spent the past decade feeling nothing from the neck down, but Ava was sure that this was not how it was supposed to be. Panic began building in her stomach, rising up to her throat.

“What’s happening?” she asked Lilith, apparently the only one who could see her. But all Lilith did was keep her eyes looking straight ahead and her jaw clenched as if she couldn’t see her. “Hey, I know you can see me!” Ava huffed, crossing her arms. “I’m right here!”

It took everything Ava had to not reach out and turn the woman’s face with her own hands so she would  _ have _ to at least spare her a look. Maybe she should do it...

“Lilith, are you feeling okay?” came a voice to her right, interrupting her thoughts.

The voice belonged to a woman, who was dressed like all the others with ninja-like clothes that looked straight out of a television show. She had scratches framing her face and what looked like soot as well. It was the woman’s question that brought Ava’s attention to Lilith’s paleness and shaky hands.

“I think so,” she answered, glancing at Ava from the corner of her eye. Something was  _ really _ off. She seemed even more tired than before, and there was a layer of sweat glistening on her skin.

“You do not look well at all,” Ava pointed out, her voice somewhat distorted even to her own ears.  _ She _ sounded scared, too. “You look like someone who’s about to throw up.”

Lilith closed her eyes and covered her ears with trembling hands. 

“ _ Stop talking to me! _ ” she hissed, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. If possible, it seemed she had become even more pale.

“Lilith?” the other woman, even with her stoic face, sounded worried. She extended her hand to touch Lilith’s shoulder. It was perfect timing, as Lilith suddenly lost balance and fell unconscious in her arms.

Mary appeared again at her side. “Beatrice, what happened?”

And just like that, there was no one else aware of her presence. They worried about Lilith, mainly about the apparent outburst, and took care of her. Talked about the woman in the stretcher, how she was apparently murdered by the bright blue thing shining in her. Shannon was her name. Then, they discussed everything about the murder and one of them putting pieces of something together and course of action. Nothing that Ava could truly understand.

It all seemed pointless. What Ava both wanted and needed to know was what happened to her - why she was like this. She lived more than a decade being invisible. People would come and go as if she wasn’t there, unless it was her friend Diego or someone assigned to take care of her. But then, if she wanted attention beyond that, she knew how to get it. 

However, being invisible like  _ that _ was on a whole other level. Now, Ava could finally walk, talk,  _ feel _ (not really, but it was better than feeling nothing) and no one was aware; not because they didn’t want to—they just couldn’t, and there was nothing she could do about it. It almost seemed cruel. Finally, she had everything she ever wanted… only to be unable to fully grasp it.

_ Maybe, _ Ava thought to herself, too scared to imagine anything else.  _ Maybe this is all a dream. _

Ava isn't sure how long she was there thinking - minutes or hours - but when she returned to herself, the other women were leaving with Lilith in tow, carried in the arms of a priest. In that moment, Ava realized she had to make a decision, and fast. She could stay and try to find the answers she wanted by herself or she could follow these people. More specifically, the only one who could see her. 

Of course,  _ she could _ just walk away from this place, try to live somehow, maybe even find something at another place... But what if she never found someone else who could see her? Was _ she _ the anomaly, or was it something else? She couldn’t even tell what was really at stake in this situation.

So Ava decided to follow the strange people, walking through the stone hallways a few paces behind, wondering if the place felt as humid and cold and suffocating as it looked. They dashed up a flight of stairs, and when they reached what should have been the entrance, Ava noticed they were in a church.

“Oh,  _ great,” _ she groaned, taking note of all the destruction and how the statues seemed to be staring right back at her. “I guess I’ll be getting the hell out of here better than you guys. This place is falling apart.”

Ava gazed up as they passed through the large wooden doors, meeting the street where more people in the same dark clothes were doing their work, whatever it was. The weather seemed to be nice, the sound of leaves of so many trees rustling in the wind. There was no one else on the streets, the only light provided by the yellow glow of the streetlights casting eerie shadows everywhere and creating strange forms. It surely gave scary movie vibes.

Well, fuck them, Ava figured. Being seen or not, she would do things her way. Find out what was happening… She could do it.  _ And _ without the help of these strange folks who seemed ready to draw weapons and fight any second. The less problems, the better.

She turned left, ready to make her own way into the night, but after just a few steps she froze as she heard a strange noise, a humming sound that seemed to make the air pulse around Ava.

Amazingly, Ava found that she could feel the cobblestones of the street under her bare feet. There was suddenly a breeze on her face, and the air brought the smell of trees and sea through her lungs. It felt like someone calling for her—a whisper of her name, carried in on the wind. But her heart sank as if she was forgetting something essential—and, almost as if magnetized, she turned to where the whispering seemed to be coming from.

But all Ava could see was a golden glow emanating from Lilith's back, while the priest who had carried her placed her in the back of one of the black vans stationed right in front of the church. The light was warm and inviting. It called out to her, tempting her to reach out and touch, to feel the warmth for herself, just like the first time she saw it.

Ava found herself moving forward involuntarily, and before she even realized it she was standing at the door of the van. Her lips parted in a heavy breath and she  _ reached— _

“Should the halo be doing this?” someone questioned, snapping Ava out of her trance. She snatched her hand back before anyone could see _ \-  _ and then remembered that no one _ could _ see her, and felt foolish. “I mean, should it be doing this while Lilith is  _ unconscious.” _

“I don’t know, Camila,” the priest answered. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this happen before.”

_ What... just happened? _ she asked herself, feeling dazed. Blinking, she tried to clear the fog from her mind. It had been so strange _ \-  _ the light had been bright, blindingly so, and then it had disappeared… Leaving Ava confused and disoriented.

Even if she didn’t believe in God or any kind of higher power in the universe, sometimes there were things that just couldn’t be ignored. This had definitely been one of them.

As soon as she was inside the van, headed to who knew where, the only thing Ava was sure of was that this  _ had _ to be a coincidence. Not a single person was able to see her—all except a woman whose back glowed with ethereal light?  _ Way _ too freaky not to be related.

Occupying a vacant window seat, Ava gazed out at the city at night and  _ marveled.  _ All the lights, people crowded in the streets, the moon and stars… They were so vibrant, beautiful,  _ alive _ . Everything she had never seen or felt before. She had no recollection of being outside the orphanage aside from blurred flashes of memories...

When they stopped in front of another church, all Ava could do was groan and ask herself  _ why _ . 

_ Why _ was the church always in her way? Was she condemned to always end up in a place like this where she would be even more miserable? Because, of course, what more could she expect...

But her  _ biggest  _ question was: why were they in a  _ church? _

Ava definitely would not be surprised by menacing folks or even murderers using the church to hide. In fact, there were some nuns at St. Michael’s she always thought as quite disturbing, in a  _ really _ bad way.

Anyway, Ava was actually surprised when a couple of women she recognized as  _ nuns _ appeared, helping the others in the van however they could. And suddenly... everything made sense. The pieces all began fitting together, starting with the headpieces, dress-like clothes, the priest, and the churning feeling in the pit of her stomach that said she couldn’t trust these people.

She stayed at Lilith’s side all the time, from the moment she had been carried out the van until she was laid in a bed. The woman—this  _ nun _ , Ava remembered herself—still looked sick, all pale and clammy, probably running a fever. She was obviously not the only one to notice, as another woman soon came in with a bowl of water and a washcloth. She sat down by Lilith’s side at the edge of her bed, removed the headpiece carefully, dipped the cloth in water and placed it across her forehead. 

“Sister Beatrice already reported what happened.” A woman’s voice said as she entered the bedroom, black robes flickering behind her and cane clacking against the hard stone of the floor. A sinister scar ran down her face—over her right eye and curving around to her ear. “She is now trying to put the fragments together, once again by what I heard.”

The stoic face, fine posture, and clipped voice (as well as the way the younger woman at Lilith’s bedside hurried to get out of her way) gave every indication Ava needed:

_ Boss bitch is here _ .

“We don’t know who caused this yet,” the priest said, pausing in the doorway. He sighed. “I keep wondering if it all could have been prevented somehow.”

“The work we do here has its dangers, father. You know that very well.”

_ What work? _ Ava wondered. Her curiosity was instantly piqued.

“How is Mary?” the woman asked.

“Angry. Mourning. She is with Beatrice now, trying to get anything from the fragments. I guess she will do anything to discover what really took place at the docks tonight and find the responsible for it.”

“And Lilith?” she inquires, staring right through Ava to where Lilith lay behind her on the bed.

The priest hesitates. “She is alright, overall,” he says. “The halo was passed from Sister Shannon to her in the middle of an attack, and Sister Emeline was killed right after. No one was with her, and no one witnessed what happened… She was apparently in much pain. A few sisters commented on how they could hear her screaming, but…” The priest trailed off.

“But?” 

“She was disoriented before passing out. Mary and Beatrice both said she was talking about someone no one else could see…”

_ Wait a minute…  _ “That’s me!” Ava gasped, only to realize that still no one could hear her.

“...and she seemed to be talking to whoever it was.”

The bedroom grew silent again. The silence drew Ava to frustration—she wanted to scream, her vision blurred with tears threatening to fall. 

“We’ll watch her carefully, then. It must be the fever,” the woman remarked, but her eyes betrayed a hint of concern as she spun towards the exit. The man soon followed her, closing the door behind them.

The silence, only disturbed by the sound of Lilith’s peaceful breathing, made Ava realize how hazy the last hours had been. Taking a deep breath, Ava allowed herself a moment to reflect on the events of the past evening. What could have caused the loss of her senses, and how had they been restored? What the hell  _ happened  _ to her that led to her being in that room? 

Maybe she went crazy... or she was just  _ super  _ high. Or dreaming. Maybe she’d finally died and gone to hell where Sister Frances said she belonged. Because, honestly, all of this felt like torture.

She was suddenly a seven years old all over again—waking up in an unknown place, scared, helpless, and lonely, not being able to move. This time though, she couldn’t move in an entirely different way. It wasn’t only a physical limitation. Her worst fear was displayed before her own eyes, leaving her with a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach and causing her body to freeze. Even if her whole body was urging her to move, to do  _ something.  _

That’s how Ava found herself watching the sunrise light up the entire room softly as if she was in a nightmare dressed up as a dream, waiting for the moment to wake up.

And wake up Lilith did. But it was not easy. Even in slumber she could feel how rigid her body was, the pain in the joints and a heavy feeling in her back she never experienced. The weight seemed to pull her down, pinning her to the mattress.

The next thing that came to her was the warmth flowing through her body, followed by a brightness that burned yellow and red behind her eyelids. The third was her fingers and toes, fidgeting and holding onto the sheets however they could, feeling its softness with an awareness that was significantly more heightened.

The last thing Lilith processed was her memories. The ambush—the explosion. Shannon dying, and the halo being pressed into her back. The immediate, searing pain of the holy relic as it burned its way through her skin and flesh. 

With a gasp, Lilith jerked awake. Her eyes opened, startled and confused, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the harsh light of the sun pouring in from the window.

Lilith sat up in a hurry, stretching her right arm so her hand could reach the space between her shoulder blades. Her fingers traveled carefully, feeling first the fabric of her clothes. Pressing them cautiously, she noticed her back was sore. Even through the many layers of clothes and her own body, she felt something solid beneath her skin.

The halo.

Lilith released a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. Closing her eyes again, she sighed heavy with relief. Finally it was hers. Finally, she could be the leader she dreamed of being. Her family would be proud of her - no more silent treatment like before, when Shannon received the halo instead of her.

Finally, she could  _ live, _ and not have to slave endlessly over herself in order to feel worthy.

_ Finally. _

“Ah, you’re  _ finally _ awake.”

Lilith groaned internally. _ The irony _ .

Lilith looked up, meeting familiar dark eyes that stared at her from across the room. 

_ This girl…  _ Lilith remembered.  _ She was there. _

When the pain of the halo had become unbearable to the point that Lilith thought she wouldn't survive…  _ she  _ appeared, somehow taking away her pain. It faded out into nothing, and all because of this girl. And it wasn’t a good thing either, as Lilith soon remembered she was the only one who seemed to be able to see her. 

“Who are you?” she demanded. Lilith’s voice was sharp, rude. Not that the girl seemed to mind it much - on the contrary, she appeared somewhat relieved.

“Well, uh, that’s a good question,” Ava began awkwardly. “I… shouldn’t actually be here. And since  _ you _ are the only one who is aware of my existence, I think this is kinda-maybe your fault. Or… Something like that, I don’t really know.” She gave a nervous laugh. “It might be _ my  _ fault, somehow, but I can’t imagine how.... But all that doesn’t really matter, right?” 

The moment when her biggest goal in life should become true was ruined in an instant. Suddenly, Lilith’s ears began to ring with a shrill noise, growing louder and louder. Her head ached as it filled with pressure, and she couldn’t help but grunt in pain. A voice called to her from afar.

“...ey! Lilith? Lilith,” the voice grew closer.

A warm hand was placed on her forearm, and the pain left as quickly as it had come. Chest heaving as she caught her breath, Lilith stared at the girl who was now kneeling in front of her. Her eyes were wide, gazing at her with concern and fear.

Lilith shook her head. _ Who is this girl, really? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! I hope you are enjoying the plot, and don't forget to leave your comment, 'kay?  
> I want to thank everyone who supported this idea in the first chapter and Madi, who is now my awesome talented beta (also, follow her on twitter @nosiidamx).
> 
> You can find me on twitter as @thamynion and tumblr neonbabybear
> 
> See yall soon!


	3. Coexistence

Ava studied Lilith carefully, kneeling on the floor at her side. She was genuinely concerned; Lilith seemed to be in terrible pain, clutching at both sides of her head with a grip so strong it turned her knuckles white. 

When the pain subsided Lilith looked down at Ava’s hand, still pressed against her forearm, and back to her with a questioning eyebrow. Realizing what she was doing, Ava snatched her hand back, rising to her feet once again. Lilith’s eyes flashed—dark and feline, matching her proud chin and tight lips—and before Ava could even react, Lilith was pinning her on the ground with her knees, a blue glowing knife pressed into the soft skin of her throat.

She struggled under Lilith’s weight, but the woman was clearly in full control. So Ava remained still, wary of the look in Lilith’s eyes and the blade at her neck. Fear and anger at her situation boiled beneath Ava’s skin—all she’d been doing this whole time was try to help, to understand, and Lilith was having none of it.

“What the fuck!?” she shouted, matching the fire in Lilith’s eyes.

“What are you? What did you do to me?” Lilith snarled, her voice taking on a dangerous edge. All Ava could think was,  _ she will truly kill me right now _ .

"I've seen enough to know you are not a wraith," Lilith continued, as sharp as the knife in her hands, golden light flaring from her back yet again. "So, what are you?"

"What are you talking about?” Ava struggled to free herself, but Lilith was strong. She wouldn’t budge. “Shit,” Ava huffed. “I knew I should've stayed away. This place is full of psychos!"

Lilith shifted her weight completely to her legs so Ava was rendered completely motionless. “I’ll only ask you one more time,” she threatened. “What _.  _ Are you?”

It made all the feelings that were building in the pit of Ava’s stomach suddenly turn into a ball in her throat, her entire being quivering and burning, the energy begging to come out. “And right now, I’m telling you to  _ get off of me!” _ Ava yelled, screwing her eyes shut as a sudden burst of light flashed.

When she opened them, Lilith was gone, nowhere in the room to be found.

“What the actual fuck just happened...” Ava murmured to herself, standing back up on shaky feet as she stared at her hands in disbelief. 

Meanwhile, on the floor below, Lilith crashed onto something solid with a sharp  _ bang!  _ Only her hands prevented her from landing face-first. It was instinct, gathered from years of intense training.  _ Remember, always protect the face.  _

Lilith rolled, directing the momentum over her shoulder and landing flat on her back. She stayed like that, facing the ceiling and catching her breath—for the second time in what seemed like a terrible day—and trying to figure out what the so-called _ girl _ in her room had done to her. 

Lilith wasn’t convinced… she  _ had _ to be a demon of some sort. Didn’t she? Why else was it only Lilith who could see her? And was it  _ really _ her to begin with? In the moment before she felt herself falling, the halo felt… strange. She could feel it, hear it, but it had acted seemingly not of her own accord.

Lilith pushed her thoughts aside. She still had to get up and assess the damage done by her fall. She was quickly on her feet, picking up her knife, finally registering the throbbing pain in her hands and wrists aside from a few minor stings here and there. Nothing she hadn’t felt before or couldn’t handle. Looking around, she made note of all the wreckage she created.

She was in the room that served as a library. She had apparently fallen right over one of the tables - which was now overturned, with just two of its legs standing while the other two laid broken on the floor just like half of the cover. Her clothes, still the combat ones, were wrinkled and flecked with small wood chips.

Smoothing them with her hands and putting her knife back in its place in her robes, Lilith took notice of how the pain slowly faded from her body. Phasing through the ground, and now the healing, were the first signs of the halo inside her, feeding her body with the holy energy that once belonged to an angel. Since the day before it was like there was never time to think things through properly, and it made her furious and in some ways a failure, but right now she truly felt the warrior nun, the chosen one. That halo was in her and her abilities were the proof of her worth, if its weight on her back weren't already.

Lilith took a steadying breath before crossing the room to the door. Swinging it open, she found herself immediately face-to-face with someone else.

“Mother Superion,” she greeted, attempting to mask her surprise.

“Lilith. I’m pleased to see you are awake.” The other woman returned her greeting, bearing a questioning look. “I wasn't expecting to see you this early… is everything alright?” she asked, her eyes wary, observing the younger nun head to toe. 

Apart from her crumpled clothes she appeared to be fine, her stiff posture and habitual sternness intact. 

“Yes. Thank you, Mother,” said Lilith. Briefly, she wondered if she should mention the girl to Mother Superion.

Lilith didn’t keep secrets. At least, not ones that could potentially harm her Sisters or the Order. But she finally had the halo now… what would happen if they thought she was insane? If they deemed her unfit to perform? So, Lilith decided to keep this little problem to herself for the time being. Besides—the girl had not tried to kill her or anything, unlike the other demons she’s fought before.

Mother Superion gave an acknowledging hum. “I heard a loud noise when I was passing by...” Her eyes traveled to the wreckage just behind Lilith. “It looks like you experienced  _ quite  _ the accident inside there.”

“Ah. Yes,” Lilith displayed a little smile, hoping that it concealed her current discomfort. She searched her mind for an excuse, deciding to settle on a half-truth. “I only just woke up, and I think I phased through the floor on my way out of the room…”

Mother Superion offered her the tiniest of smiles. “It can take some time to adjust to the halo and your new abilities, even with all of your training. We can begin working on it today after you clean up. I’ll be waiting for you in my office when you’re ready.”

Lilith bowed her head, waiting until Mother Superion was out of sight before berating herself mentally, feeling her lips pull into a heavy frown. “What a mess,” she muttered, inspecting the library once again. She would think about fixing it later, she had more pressing matters to resolve at the moment.

It was early, the sun just beginning to appear on the horizon. Which was fortunate for Lilith since it meant all the other sisters would be attending their morning prayers, likely not to disturb her while she took care of her “demon” issue.

All she could think about was returning to her room to take care of that  _ entity _ , whatever it was, no matter how. There had to be a way. So, without a second thought, she opened the door and stared at the girl standing in the middle of the room. The girl was staring down at her hands, but as soon as Lilith entered she hurriedly looked up with wide eyes. Lilith took her knife once more, prepared to strike. No matter what she was, it was unlikely any creature would survive against divinium.

“This again, seriously?” Ava whined, tossing her hands up. “Just leave me alone!”

“What do you want?” Lilith demanded, taking slow, careful steps in Ava’s direction, not taking her eyes off of her. “If you’re not a demon then you must be something else.”

“Yeah…” Ava droned. “I’m a  _ person. _ And I followed you here because I thought you could answer my questions, or help me, but all you’ve done until now is try to kill me!” 

Lilith faltered at her volume, curiosity outweighing her paranoia. “If you  _ are _ a person, as you’ve claimed, then why doesn’t anybody else see you?” Lilith’s voice dripped with irony.

“I don’t know!” Ava groaned. “I wish I had an answer for you… But I don’t.” She plopped down on Lilith’s bed, completely defeated. “All I know is that I was at the orphanage watching TV, like always. I must’ve fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew I was waking up in the middle of some kind of battle...”

Ava met Lilith’s eyes directly, pouring all the honesty she could into her expression. The nun obviously still had her suspicions, if her stiff posture and vice grip on that strange knife had anything to say about it. But there was something in her eyes… Ava couldn’t put her finger on it. Whatever it was, it felt strong. Like a fire—unwavering and fierce.

“You could have just walked away,” Lilith points out. “If you _ are _ human, surely I’m not the only one who can see or help you.”

Ava huffed, growing impatient. “Yeah, sure, like I haven’t tried that before. Do you really think I want to be here?” She asked. “I spent my entire life surrounded by nuns,  _ Sister _ . I don’t want to be here any more than you want to see me gone.”

Lilith sighed in exasperation. Her patience was growing thin…

She could just end it here, right now. But... it didn’t feel right. Even just the idea felt completely out of place. Her instincts screamed at her that the girl was telling the truth, yet her own doubt filtered in. How could  _ she _ help? Did she even want to help at all?

It was the Godly thing to do, to help those in need, but there were too many variables to consider. Lilith had only just received the halo—she had to begin her training, fight demons, not even considering all other duties she was tasked with at the OCS. How could she help this… girl, without someone questioning her actions?

Mother Superion already seemed suspicious, and who knew what would happen if it reached the ears of Father Vincent, or, God forbid, Cardenal Duretti. She could already hear the stories: the sister warrior who went mad soon after receiving a holy relic… Probably rejected by it, they would say. Removed from her obligations with the order—losing the halo—people looking at her through eyes filled with pity and contempt… Just as when Shannon had been chosen before her, Lilith would be a disgrace to her family, staining their name and all of their previous halo bearers.  **** “I’m willing to let you live,” Lilith said finally, lowering her voice to a dangerous rumble. “But you will get out of my sight and leave this place.” 

Ava’s breath hitched. “W-wait, you don’t understand—”

“I don’t care,” Lilith finalized. “Please. I can’t help you.”

Ava rose from the bed slowly, searching Lilith’s face. For what, she didn’t know. Then Ava remembered the light that emanated from her back the past two attempts she’d made at escaping.

Ava hesitated. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes. If you would please hurry…” Lilith stepped to the side, revealing the exit.

Still, though, Ava faltered. Just the thought of leaving left a sour taste in her mouth. Which was disconcerting, considering she would literally rather be anywhere else. Maybe a beach… Running over the sand, her feet bare, feeling the breeze whip her hair behind her as she ran to the ocean. The roaring of waves filling her ears... And it would all be  _ real. _ Nothing like experiencing it through the television in her old room at the orphanage.

However, deep down, Ava knew she couldn’t. She knew what would happen the moment she tried to walk away. Maybe  _ that’s _ what would take to make this stubborn nun understand. Plus, she didn't even know if there was any life of hers to go back to.

Ava sighed, giving in. There was no losing: if nothing happened she would find someone else. If something  _ did _ happen… Well,  _ then _ she would see.

She was halfway down the hall when a low sound—almost a whispering—called for her, followed by a groan.This time, though, Ava didn’t feel as if she was being subconsciously _ lured _ by it. She was completely conscious. Ava turned on her heel, hurrying back to the room only to find Lilith bracing herself on the doorframe, her face contorted in pain.

The whispering grew into a roar the closer she stepped, but everything ended the moment she placed a supporting hand on Lilith's shoulder. Her head shot up, meeting Ava’s eyes with a surprised expression.

“What have you done to me?” Lilith asked in an anxious voice. She shrugged Ava’s hand off of her.

Ava felt her frustration building to a boiling peak inside of her. “I’ve done nothing!” she insisted. “That’s what I was trying to say _ before.” _ Ava took a hesitant step backwards, worried that her proximity would anger Lilith even more. “I’m not here because I  _ want  _ to be. That stupid glowing thing in your back just wont let me go!”

Lilith paused. The anger on her face slowly slipped away… “What do you mean?”

“Everytime I try to leave, it starts…” Ava waved her hands around, searching for the words.  _ “Shining _ and it’s like someone is whispering in my ear and I feel.. I feel like I  _ have _ to stay.” It sounded odd even to her, but she just hoped it was enough for Lilith to understand.

But it seemed Lilith was not in a listening mood...

_ You are a demon _ , Lilith thought to herself, feeling her patience growing thinner and thinner.  _ Or this is a test sent to me by God to measure my faith. That's the only logical explanation... _

"Like I said, I don't care," Lilith growled. "Leave me alone!"

"Oh my God," Ava rolled her eyes. "Are you not listeni—Look, see it for yourself!"

She reached out to spin Lilith around, to show her the glow of the golden halo in the reflection of her window, but Lilith was fast. Faster than any living thing, and before Ava could back away Lilith was yanking Ava's hands off of her. She shoved Ava with a force that sent her reeling, her back colliding hard with the brick of the wall behind her.

"What the fuck," Ava wheezed, bracing herself. "What the fuck—"

"I warned you," Lilith said as she held out the divinium dagger in front of her. Her nostrils flared with each breath, and Ava felt truly afraid.

“If you would just listen to me-” Ava tried again, hands open protectively in front of her, but couldn’t even finish talking.

A searing pain burning her chest. Ava looked down just to find the knife with its bluish glow buried where her heart should be.

_ I’m going to die _ , she thought, trembling hands hovering over the handle, but besides the pain, nothing happened. She looked at Lilith, who was staring back with ferocious eyes that rapidly turned into confused ones.

_ I did what I should do. Protect the halo, protect your sisters _ , Lilith thought.  _ But why is she still here, standing? _

“What the fuck was that for?” Ava managed to say in a wavering voice.

Well, Lilith couldn’t have predicted it. How would anyone,  _ anything _ , survive divinium. She grasped desperately at the handle, but besides the pain nothing else happened. With a resolved grunt, Ava yanked the dagger from her chest, watching in wonder and fear as the incision closed itself without a single drop of blood. Her hands trembled and the knife clattered to the floor, Ava falling to her knees along with it.

“Holy shit.” Ava said, panthing, running a hand where the knife was just a second before. “ _ Holy shit _ . Do I have super powers?”

"What..." Lilith breathed. Her chest heaved, and she stared in confusion at this girl in front of her. "This is not possible."

"I assure you," Ava panted, still catching her breath. "That it  _ is _ **.** "

Lilith took just one second to make her decision; not that it was an easy one.

"You," Lilith fixed her with a deathly glare. "You... don't move." She ignored Ava's quip of not likely and snatched a pair of clothes from her dresser

“What a mess indeed.” the nun mumbled under her breath, gritting her teeth  before walking out the door .

⚔︎

“Okay, so... is this a convent? Because, you know, I never heard of this type of nun. Bad nuns, of course, the orphanage was full of them… but nuns with  _ guns?” _ Ava asked, incredulous. 

She followed Lilith through a narrow hallway, gazing around at the massive building. The entire place was dim, the only light peeking through windows high above them. The architecture was impressive with its vaulted arches, towering columns, and giant brick walls decorated with biblical sculptures. It was not so new and sparkling, though—cracks, bits of stone missing, and hundreds of wax candles mounted to the walls everywhere screamed “ancient religious place.”

When an answer to her questions didn't come, Ava turned back, seeing that Lilith was, unsurprisingly, ignoring her as two women, nuns, advanced towards them from the opposite side of the hall. She had been being ignored ever since Lilith emerged from her bath...

After Lilith had literally  _ stabbed her in the chest _ she just opened up a drawer, took a pile of clothes and demanded Ava to stay right where she was.

_ “My name is Ava, by the way,” _ She’d said, mostly to herself while watching the nun leave the room, hearing the door latch behind her.  _ “Not that you asked or anything.” _

She’d laid sprawled on the bed until Lilith emerged some good 30 minutes later, and the only thing she’d said since then was “I have responsibilities to attend to.”

“You don’t have to worry about people thinking you’re talking to yourself. You’re naturally batshit crazy,” Ava teased as the nuns passed them without a second glance. Ava gasped as one of them walked  _ right through her entire body _ . She huffed when they were out of earshot, despite the fact they probably couldn’t hear her anyway. “I swear, I can  _ not  _ understand why this shit is happening!  _ You _ can stab me, but this woman just walked through my body like I don’t even exist!”

It seemed Lilith was at the end of her line, too.

“Listen up,  _ Ava _ ,” she paused in the hallway, looking around to be sure no one else could hear her before addressing Ava directly. “I don’t really care about you. But it seems I’m stuck in this… predicament until further notice, so let’s get some things straight. I’m not your friend,” Lilith said, dutifully ignoring the kicked-puppy look Ava was giving her. “I have things to do, people to take care of, and  _ only when _ I’m finished… are we going to figure this out so you can go back to wherever you came from.” Lilith released a heavy breath, her shoulders slumping in defeat. “Look… It’s probably best that you disappear for the day. You can wait in my room if you want, just _ stay out of my sight _ and don’t do anything weird.”

Lilith began walking again, leaving Ava standing with her mouth agape. But soon she got her legs to work again, catching up to her.

“Hey!” Ava called. “You’re the one with a fucking  _ lamp _ attached to your back and  _ I’m _ the weird one?” She paused, growing curious. “Actually, what the hell  _ is _ that thing?”

“Language,” Lilith admonished. But other than that, Ava once again received the silent treatment.

Their next stop was the mess hall where a considerable number of nuns sat eating breakfast. She watched as Lilith slipped on a mask of indifference, speaking idly as the other nuns cme up to her, congratulating her and offering their condolences for Sister Shannon. Lilith answered them all with surprising grace, concealing her true state.

Lilith made quick work of her breakfast, and Ava wished with all her soul that she could smell and taste. Everything looked delicious, nothing like the plain, bland porridge she was forced to swallow every day for over a decade at the orphanage. She was even willing to try tea, the hot leaf juice.

While Lilith ate—and would sneak some skewed looks in her direction—Ava used her time to assess every single person in the room. She would speak to them, wave a hand before their eyes, tapped them, and all without success. The best result she achieved was a young woman shivering, and Ava wasn’t even certain if it had been her doing. 

When there was no one left, Ava sat defeated on the floor, back against the wall, trying not to think too much even if she was feeling on the verge of a breakdown. The loneliness that threatened to consume her was only comparable to when she was seven years old waking up in an unknown place, about to discover she had lost her only family and could no longer move her body from the neck down.

Ava waited until Lilith was finished so she could continue after her, despite Lilith’s insistence that she leave her alone. It wasn’t as if anyone else could see her, so she couldn’t exactly cause a scene...

Lilith eventually stopped in front of a large wooden door. She knocked delicately and waited until a voice answered with a muffled “enter.” The room was an office, the old painted walls stocked full of books and other trinkets—small statues of saints and angels, a wide variety of crosses, paintings, etc. In the middle, the priest and the older nun from the night before—Mother Superion, Ava remembered—were talking, their conversation stopping at the sight of Lillith entering the room.

“Ah, Lilith,” the man said with a little smile. “It’s good to see you awake. Are you feeling well?”

Lilith plastered on a demure smile. “Yes, Father Vincent. I’m feeling much better today.” She bowed, which only made Ava want to laugh more because could this get even  _ more ridiculous _ ? 

The man seemed like he wanted to say something else,, but seemed to decide against it in the end. “Good,” he said. “Mary will be arriving soon so we can discuss last night's incident and what happened to Shannon. She is out looking out for any leads. We’ll warn you if there is any news.” Father Vincent rounded the desk, sitting in a tall-backed chair.

_ Leads? _ Lilith wondered.  _ Oh. _

Shannon has likely been murdered... What with everything going on Lilith completely forgot that possibility. Now that she was the new halo bearer, she might even become the target. But she had studied and trained for this moment her entire life, and having a long life had never really been in her scope. She knew the dangers and sacrifices that came with this occupation. Lilith’s destiny was to follow in the steps of her ancestors, dying young, but for a just cause.

“In the meantime, Lilith, put on your training clothes,” Mother Superion added. “You already know everything you need in theory, so let’s go test your abilities. Beatrice and I will be waiting for you. Your training will be indoors.”

“Yes, Mother. If you would excuse me, I will leave to prepare myself.” Lilith offered a small but prideful smile before dismissing herself as fast as she could.

Lilith walked so fast that Ava struggled to keep up, practically running after her. When she reached what was most likely her room—Ava wasn’t sure, given how big the place was and all of its winding corridors and hallways—Lilith shut the door right in Ava’s face.

Ava skidded, trying to stop herself before she met with the wood of the door. She pinched her eyes shut, bracing herself for an impact that never came. Opening her eyes, she found herself… on the other side of the door?

“What was that...?” she wondered, checking to see if the door was really closed—and, yes, it was.

“Can I at  _ least _ have some privacy?” Lilith groaned. “I need to change.”

Ava complied, turning her back to Lilith. “But I have so many questions!” she said, almost giddy with the prospect of receiving any answers.

“I don’t have the time nor the patience to deal with you right now, much less your questions.” Lilith's voice, anxious and hurried, pointed every bit of this as sheer truth.

Characteristically, Ava ignored every word.

“No, really!” Ava grinned. “What does it mean to be the halo bearer? You train killers here? With weapons? What  _ is _ this place...” 

Lilith took a deep, calming breath, compelling herself to not stab this girl once more. “I can’t tell you the entire history of the OCS right now. Let’s do it some time later.”

“Oh yes, you have  _ combat training  _ to attend,” Ava said excitedly, turning around to see Lilith in her gear. “Whoa, you look like a  _ ninja! _ Oh, do you fight like one? Like Jackie Chan!”

Lilith stared at Ava in disbelief for a solid second before answering. “No,” she rolled her eyes. “Those are movies, Ava. No one really fights like Jackie Chan.”

"Disappointing," Ava grumbled, but soon a wide smile graced her lips. “Wait, am I about to watch you get your ass kicked by another nun? Totally awesome…”

Lilith refused to answer. “Watch your language,” she chastised instead, pushing past Ava and leaving her laughing in response.

Despite Lilith’s tough attitude, Ava was feeling hopeful. She  _ had _ said “later,” which was more than Ava had hoped for. But first she had to find which way Lilith had disappeared to. She didn’t want to miss out on the ass-kicking, after all. At least one good thing on this strange day.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After quite some time, i'm here! Don't forget to comment, share your thoughts. 
> 
> Question: which scene of wn Ava wasnt part and you would like her to be?
> 
> See yall next chapter!!!
> 
> (ps: anyone else wishing Lilith would pin you down one the floor?)


End file.
